Throughout my life I have packed up and moved a lot, each time I learn a lot but this time I don’t think I have ever faced so much truth about myself.
As some of you will know I recently packed up my stuff and moved to New Zealand and man has it been a ride… probably not what you are thinking, New Zealand is known at the adventure capital of the world, it the place where bungy jumping was invented.
But I haven’t done any of that crazy stuff this time… yet :)
Completely changing my environment has been an adventure in and of itself, it has really pushed my comfort zones and although it has been really tough at times leaving me thinking about packing up all my stuff and retreating back, at the same time it has been filled with some of the greatest gifts and miracles.
It has allowed me to reflect on my life though lenses I have never looked though before, and peel away more layers of the onion.
So I thought in this post I would share with you some of the recent lessons learned venturing way out of my comfort zone and stretching it for longer than anticipated.
The first gift I want to share is that it has completely allowed me to wipe clean of all your habits and patterns, ok maybe not completely clean but it has stripped away quite a few of them and held them on pause long enough to get a glimpse into what motivates certain patterns and behaviours, many of which were quite destructive.
I have noticed this many times when I have moved, it is a wonderful gift but if you are not careful and take advantage of this gap in behaviors it doesn’t take long for them to all return and you can easily slip back to where you started.
By staying aware in this vital time it has helped me to at least uncover or come to more realizations of the limiting patterns and behaviors that I was using as a convenient way to not face the truth of reality and really deal with the cause of the problem. (If there even is a problem)
It has really helped me gain clarity on some of the destructive behaviors I was doing to fulfill one of the 6 human needs.
I know this may sound a bit deep but my hope is that by sharing my experience you may find some value in it, to be honest it is a bit more personal than I intended to go, but hey I have gone this far may as well keep going.
Let me give you an example of what I mean however before I do that, let me give you some insight into the 6 human needs so you know what I am talking about, if you’re not familiar with them.
I learned about the 6 human needs from Tony Robbins and following his material. Tony Robbins has spoken to and helped millions or people from over 130 countries, from all walks of life and as he says he would have to be a fool not to see certain patterns and behaviours in all humans beings.
One of the extraordinary things he has discovered is that we all have certain patterns that drive our lives and every decision we make which are primary determined by meeting the 6 human needs in one way or another.
Here is a brief background of what the 6 Human Needs are: The first one is the need for certainty, we need to be sure that things are safe, stable and comfortable both physically and emotionally. The second one is the need for uncertainty and variety; once we have a baseline for safety we crave change, stimulation and different emotions and experiences.
The third need is for love and connection, to belong to a group, to be connected to other people and to give love and receive love. The forth need is for significance, we all need to feel special and worthy of attention.
The fifth human need is for growth, to expand beyond our current limits and become more than we were yesterday. And the sixth human need is for contribution beyond yourself, to give back.
We all need to meet these needs every day although we tend to focus more on meeting one or two of the needs more than the others.
We meet these needs in many ways, but quite often people met then though destructive ways, such as abusing food, drugs, violence, etc.
A good question to ask is what need do you focus on most?
Here is a great video where Tony explains in much more detail how these 6 human needs operate in our lives, and why you do the things you do.
After studying these 6 human needs for a couple of years now and how they play out in my own life I have realised that my need for love and connection is up there with certainty.
I didn’t totally understand this until now how destructively I was meeting this need, it wasn’t happening on a conscience level, but I would smoke copious amount of weed and often other drugs as a way to fulfil the need for connection.
I loved getting stoned by myself and it is a very internal drug so when I got stoned it would fulfil my need for connection, I know this may sound strange but its how it was.
Since moving to a completely new environment I am surrounded by people who don’t get high everyday and not that my friends would judge me if I did, but naturally you conform to your environment around you, I don’t want to be the only stoner here so I don’t do it. (As a side note this has been another great benefit of being out of my comfort zone, it makes you up your game and become more accountable.)
As a result it has forced me to face my fear so to speak and find other ways to fulfil that need for connection, but this is where the power comes in to it, because I am much more conscious of it I now have the ability to choice a more empowering way to meet that need and deal with my feelings, instead of running the same old patterns of getting stoned and pushing the feelings to the side and never really dealing with the cause of the issue.
Does this mean I will never get stoned again, I doubt it but I will get high because I want to and not to run away so to speak from my true feelings just to run an old pattern that keeps me running around in circles.
Stretching your comfort zone is tough but it’s the only place where real growth and progress is made. It has been like peeling the layers of an onion away, or to put it a better way, it feels like the opening up of a flower… and the journey continues.
What can you do to stretch your comfort zone for long periods of time?
P.S If you really want to see some amazing transformations and see miracles take place right in front of your eyes I highly recommend you check out these videos. I promise you have never seen anything like this before